508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
