it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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