Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
