Whatcha textin bout Willis?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
