this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
You've changed since you got that strap on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
