Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
