Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
My feet surprised me
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
