i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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