I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
