I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
