she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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