I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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