apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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