She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
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