Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
