so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
