so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
