CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Randomize
