i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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