I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize