You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Randomize
