Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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