I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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