I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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