Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
