i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
