Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize