At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
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