In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Bring me that man meat
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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