Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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