You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
