He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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