i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
