If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
