Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I just had sex on a roof
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Randomize
