Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I have tasted many bathrooms
Randomize
