dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
