He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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