How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
