It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
