Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
