I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize