I just made out with a guy for $7.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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