Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
