I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so that wasnt chicken after all
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
