Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
