what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
