Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
