that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
i just made my gag reflex go away.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Randomize
