Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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