We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
