FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize