wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
