Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
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