no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
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