Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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