If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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