After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
