im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
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