So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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