I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
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