i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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