did you get engaged???
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
