so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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