We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
