I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
my poor anus
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize